THE THREADSTRING WEDDING

Wedding's are a wonderful, joyous, exciting occasion. A celebration of love between two people and their intention to spend the rest of their lives together.

When a potential groom promises the world and asks that all important question, it can often end up costing the earth. We didn't have the earth, we had little more than buttons. Stately homes, hotels, even barns are gorgeous, the perfect location for such an important occasion, not to mention THE dress - it has to be right, a photographer, bridesmaid's, flowers, groomsmen, cars, caterers, rings, table decorations, entertainment, the list goes on. Even if we had of been able to afford such a lavish day to celebrate with our nearest and dearest, I think my anti-thrift radar would have gone into meltdown. As it was, we had exactly what we wanted at a tiny fraction of the average £25'000 price tag.

We got married on 22nd August 2015. It was a very hot summer afternoon in a village in Essex, where my husband Daniel and I had a small, intimate wedding in the beautiful 900 year old Church belonging to the Parish we attend.

To keep costs down we cut out a lot of 'it's tradition' / fashionable things like favours, a sweet cart, entertainment at the reception, traditional wedding breakfast, alcohol, the big dress, and were economical with the essentials getting friends and family to help with everything along with doing as much as possible ourselves.

Church - nominal fee.

We had only 48 people to our reception including us, with another 25 in the evening. With a bit of effort and careful planning, the venue, which was our Church hall, was transformed into an indoor garden party, which I and some willing helpers decorated with bunting made from a ream of economy white printer paper costing £2.50 and floristry ribbon (just under £2 wholesale), borrowed coloured lights, and jars filled with sweet peas, freesias and gypsophela grown by dedicated work colleagues (I can't grow anything, I can even kill spider plants).
Instead of having a professional photographer, a friend, my brother and Daniel's dad, who are all good with a camera, took the photo's. We had the pictures taken in the grounds of the church having made up a list of photo's we wanted for the whole day from ones we had found scouring magazines and the internet and also angles/poses we know work well for us. This helped a lot to get what we wanted. Many people have camera phones so we also set up an invitation only facebook page and asked everyone at the wedding and reception to post the ones they took or email them to us. This all took time and planning but cost virtually nothing.

My brother filmed the ceremony so that cost nothing.

Me: I have my own unique style and the traditional princess or meringue dress is not it, plus at mid 30 I didn't think looking like a pompom would do me any favours. So, after getting thoroughly disheartened not finding what I wanted at a price I could afford - less than £100, I looked in different places including second hand shops that sell or specialise in wedding attire. Eventually, I found the right dress that suited me perfectly, at a mere £26 from eBay. My friend did the alterations (I am only 5ft tall) for free. If these options really aren't something you want to do, and I suggest you at least try as there are some little gems if you're prepared to search, go to high street wedding dress shops when they have sales on. You may not only find the dress you want if you don't mind the waiting and searching through lots of dresses, but you may grab yourself an absolute bargain. Obvious yes? well more than that, often dresses that have only been in the shop for a few days at full price are briefly knocked down to ridiculous prices simply by being in the shop when the sale is on, just don't be afraid to rummage.

I had 2 pairs of shoes. One vintage style cream pair which I already had dyed lilac and another very high heeled sparkly platform pair for the photo's I bought brand new for 99p on eBay. For the dress to look just right, any bride knows you have to have the right underwear. Not a problem, eBay saves the day again with a suitable garment - ex stock. £17 instead of £45. I wore jewellery given by my mum that she had saved for years in the hope I would get married. A friend did my hair - we found the right video on youtube and practiced a lot, with a dainty alice band style tiara of tiny flowers and a diamante and pearl comb. Total: £4.38 from eBay.

 My make up was £8.00 for the cosmetics on a 3 for 2 offer in Asda, I practiced under the supervision of my friend and sister to get it just right.  Fortunately I don't usually wear much make up so any looked better for the photo's.

The Fella's. Daniel wore a black pinstripe dinner suit; £38.10 from Matalan with a purple satin waistcoat & matching tie £2.49 from eBay. The best man Chris wore his own black suit and the same matching waistcoat and tie as Daniel.

My nephew and 2 stepson's wore smart black school trousers and a white shirt from Matalan with matching purple ties I got on ebay the same as my husband's. £2.97 for the 3.
With help from friend's and my sister, we made the invites & Orders of service. £20.00 plus we had different ones for the evening which I got new & still sealed for £2 in a charity shop.

My oldest bridemaid who is 12 wore a beautiful White Monsoon dress I got for £10.00 on ebay. My 3 year old niece was my little bridesmaid and she wore a pretty pink & lilac dress she already had. Both the girls wore silver sequin pumps. My niece already a pair so a matching pair was found in shoezone for £4.99

Bridemaid's hair accessories cost nothing as they were made out of pretty crystal flowers I already had put onto alice bands that were £1.45 each.

The flowers for the church were 1 bunch each of white akito roses & talea vintage pink roses from a wholesaler I use together with foliage from the church grounds. The flowers cost a total of £30. These stood on 2 wooden pedestals.

Being the perfectionist I am, I made and remade my bouquet 3 or 4 times before I was happy with it but the time and effort was worth it and I carried something I was really proud of. My bouquet, my niece's and god-daughter's bouquet's plus button holes I made ahead of time in artificial flowers. Total: £49.00

The Church where we held the ceremony was dressed simply with a bunch of wild grown rosemary, lavender from a friend's garden and gypsophelia tied with a satin purple ribbon costing £2.50 a reel from a wholesaler & attached to alternating pew ends with twine. A matching larger posy was tied to the front gate of the Church Yard.

I am a keen baker and with lots of practice (topsy turvy tins are not the easiest to use) I made the wedding cake myself, my friend iced it, and she and I made the multitude of flowers in sugar paste ahead of time (they need time to dry out). £44.97 including topsy turvy tins - brand new from eBay. All the ingredients for the cakes came from Lidl. The VW Campervan topper I already had & I made the icing bride and groom myself watching a video clip.

Decorating the tables: I borrowed white linen tablecloths from work, wine glasses from a church member, the crockery and cutlery belongs to the Church. We had different shape and size jars filled with seasonal flowers all around the church and on the tables at the reception. I had asked friends and family to collect them for me for months before hand so they cost us nothing. The lace I'd had sitting in a craft box for years, the seeds for flowers were £1 from Lidl (£1 for 5 packs of sweet pea seeds from Lidl) and seed packs that were donated originally free with magazines.


We decorated the Church hall we attend for the reception with borrowed disco lights made a lot of bunting and heart garlands from one economy ream of supermarket printer paper costing £2.50. The only additional expense with regard to decorations was some flower garlands around the doors.

Our wedding rings. We opted not to have matching rings and instead had very individual rings to suit our personalities. This was by far our biggest expense at £312 for the pair. Tip: Your wedding ring is going to be on your finger for a very long time. It pays to search around and try on lots of different ones to see what you like, what suits you, what styles can be eliminated, and what is practical for the sort of lifestyle you have, i.e a circle of diamonds is beautiful but impractical if you do anything at all with your hands, including perhaps washing up. If you settle for something that isn't just right, you will more than likely regret it so wait until you find exactly what you want.

Daniel walked to the church & I went in my Dad's car with the same white ribbon I used for the bunting so that cost nothing extra.

On looking at how much it costs to have a registrar come to officiate a wedding at anything from a church to a castle, especially at the weekend, we opted for a registry office civil service mid week with just our witnesses, at a much easier to manage £54.00 plus £35 each registration fee (paid for in advance), and then have the main wedding just without the officiate on the Saturday, saving a small fortune.

Rather than having a band, quartet or DJ for our reception music, we spent hours happily loading an ipod playlist with some of our favourite music from the 50's onwards, which was then left to play through a home ipod dock, costing £0.

I and a handful of helpers did the catering courtesy of Lidl and Aldi for £75. Freezer space wherever you can find it is very helpful for things that can be prepared in advance.
One of our favourite but very rare treats are Krispy Kreme doughnuts. We thought this was a special enough occasion to warrant them.

We chose not to have any alcohol at any of the celebrations thus immediately bringing the cost down. Instead we had summer punches made from different mixes of fruit juice & lemonade with fruit pieces like orange slices and strawberries floating on the top, standard soft drinks, and the old faithful shloer for the toasts.

We couldn't afford dance lessons for our first dance and they are not essential. We played our favourite music and practiced in the kitchen. Check out youtube for free lessons instead.

My Hen party was vintage themed in a friend's garden, everyone dressed up in the style of 1920's - 1960's and brought something beginning with T.

The Stag do was equally low key with just Daniel and his best man going to the London dungeon and comedy club. rather them than me, anything gruesome is definitely not my thing.

Having moved into our home a year or so before, my bedroom had been decorated to our own creative taste and in my opinion is much nicer than a lot of hotels, so, with the boys staying with Grandma and Granddad, we stayed at home for our first night as a married couple, saving us enough money to have 3 more days honeymoon.

We got a super deal on the honeymoon suite at a very nice hotel on the English coast thanks to being able to stay the few extra days and as we were combining 2 homes and didn't need anything, asked our friends and family for money to help us pay for it rather than gifts for the house.

.....and so, a beautiful homemade wedding on a shoestring, for less than the average wedding dress, thus proving that with enough planning and made ahead in enough time, anything can be accomplished.

The only thing I would say to brides out there, 1) as exciting as your wedding is to you, it's not as exciting to everyone else, make a conscious effort to make sure it's not your only focus and talking point. 2) nobody likes a bridezilla, keep it in perspective. It will be beautiful regardless of what gets forgotten. 3) hold out for that dress that makes you Feel amazing. I wish I'd waited longer and searched more rather than get fed up of looking after a couple of shops & go for something that was lovely but that I didn't think was necessarily perfect........until I put it on and it was.

Good luck x

Food: My Family Favourites

Delicious Tomato Pasta / Bolognese Sauce.

In my hunt for a great Italian pasta sauce that a pair of boys who don't like sauce would like, I came up with this yummy one. It's a firm favourite in our house, really easy to make, goes great with pasta, spaghetti and meatballs, or mince for bolognese, and the kids love it too.

So, you will need.......

A can of chopped tomatoes
A generous helping of red pesto.
1 diced onion.
A generous helping of tomato puree.
A little squirt of tomato sauce/ketchup.
A few chopped mushrooms.
Lots of freshly ground pepper.

Drain the oil off of the pesto and put in a small saucepan.
Heat up the saucepan, when it's hot add the onion and cook until browning.
Add all the rest of the ingredients and cook for 5 - 10 minutes stirring every couple of minutes.
Taste to check its to your liking and serve.

It's that simple, and pretty cheap to make too.

Enjoy!

Adventure: Greenbelt Festival - 2008

A spontaneous agreement (my friend phoned and said he was booking the tickets online right then & did I want to go) has brought me to the Greenbelt Festival for the August bank holiday weekend. A 4 day Christian music festival on Cheltenham Racecourse. I have absolutely no idea what to expect or what happens other than there will probably be mud, & I'm unlikely to get much sleep.


Courtesy of www.greenbeltfestival.org.uk

Day 1: We, a bunch of friends who had never camped before, and me with some camping experience, squashed into our convoy of cars loaded with camping gear, meet more friends & new people at the designated campsite on the temporarily horse free racecourse, ready to build what will be our homes for the next few days. I can see nothing other than a sea of tents in every colour, shape, size & description imaginable.

Day 2: Bacon sandwiches & mugs of tea around my tent with the only stove albeit a tad old now. Time to explore the Greenbelt village. Solid under foot & dry, so far so good. There are literally thousands of people, 20,000 to be exact. I really hate getting lost & some how I keep getting separated from the rest of our ever growing group & get lost frequently. There is a very relaxed atmosphere here though which is nice, making the warm sunshine more appreciated.  To be totally honest, overall I'm not having the greatest time as yet but it's slowly getting better as the day progresses. Having that 'don't like it, give up' feeling was a definite low point. The food is good though, especially the Tartiflette which I'd never had before but is yummy. It's sort of potato's, bacon & maybe a few other little bits cooked in cream.  The music isn't bad either. We've been up hours now, it's getting late & the whole place is still buzzing with life. A couple of us stumble across a giant Wii game in progress which we didn't partake in but was fun to watch. Never before or since have I seen Mii's 3 foot tall!

It's been a very long day & I'm cream crackered so to bed I shall retire.

Day 3: Breakfast at the YMCA tent, which so far has served great, cheap food.  Today is pastries and hot chocolate all round. The day is again very relaxed, the sun is shining, bit breezy but ok. The seminars are interesting & a good time is had by all at 'The Jesus Arms' pub. Yes it's really called that.  Very merry Christians are so funny to watch & quite a sight to behold. Beer swinging to Jerusalem, You'll never walk alone, Swing low sweet chariot, and a few others I now forget.

The rain has come, now have MUD. Very glad I brought the wellies, unfortunately some did not.  We went to a great party though back at The Jesus Arms. Bearing in mind the pub is a marquee on grass, this also meant a party in the mud. So, there is dancing including on the indoor wooden picnic tables, there is singing to Tom Jones, Robbie Williams, and the finale, Frank Sinatra with 'New York, New York' complete with actions. Any description really doesn't do it justice but needless to say, we laughed until our sides hurt.


Courtesy of www.flickr.com
 

The summer night is drawing in again but we're all wired so we finish the day sitting around on the benches and the path outside what is fast becoming our new favourite haunt, The Tiny Tea Tent, with it's lanterns, bright multi-coloured tipi, and gentle reggae music. This is the life :-)

Day 4: Today is our last day. My friend who coerced me into coming and I seek breakfast at the YMCA tent where there is a mass fry-up in progress. Unfortunately we catch the tail end, have what's left & are both locked in the loo's within the hour with dodgy guts. Won't make that mistake again. Fortunately I always carry spare toilet paper when camping.  Oh well, it's all part of the experience.

The village is bustling. I'm comfortable enough to wander around alone, even though there are 20'000 people. Wellies are now essential. There is a smallish area of non muddy grass near the bandstand where speakers are drawing a crowd from passers by. As I walk past, there is a comic on the stand. I've no idea who he is but he's very good. Last night some of us went to a gig by an Irish country/rock singer named Brian Housten, and on seeing he was still on the line up for today, I couldn't resist the lure of the café tent where he is performing, even if all I can find is a crate to sit on. He was great. I've bought all 3 of his CD's. Whenever I listen to them I will always remember this weekend, my first year at Greenbelt.

I'm really enjoying my time here now. the other Christians are more liberal than I'm used to and are mostly nutters by the look of it, although sometimes I wonder if the interesting attire is because here pretty much anything goes and it's a safe bubble to express yourself outside of modern  society. The whole place is stuck in the time of the hippy. Care-free, flower power, people walking around the site strumming guitars that aren't attached to amplifiers, & dance classes from all era's. A couple of us went to a Jive class, that was fun. Then to a salsa class, not so fun, Having taken salsa lessons from a professional teacher, this one wasn't quite up to the standard I'm used to, but no matter, it's fun to watch the others. The day is coming to an end, as does our back in time weekend. We pack up our tents and head for home.

Will I be back next year? Definitely!