The Covid19 lockdown has given me opportunity to see what it would be like to be a stay at home parent. I have to admit I am really enjoying being at home all the time. Helping with schooling is an interesting as I try to assist one of the boys with his school work and found it's a bit like dragging water up hill in a hole filled bucket but perhaps this just shows teaching children is not necessarily my greatest skill set, however I'm actually enjoying doing the whole mum thing - ssh.
We're enjoying our new normal too. It's so nice to be able to do things we never had time for, like get a full night's sleep, get work done around the house, spend quality time as a family and enjoy a slower pace of life. Our youngest and I even renovated the back garden.
My husband is not a fan of parenting books as each child and situation is different. I however am happy to try them, with the possibility of gleaning knowledge I am more than aware I do not possess. I'm currently reading 'Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World' by Kristen Welch. This is an interesting book that I was quite easily able to delve into. There are plenty of examples regarding the behaviour of children at different ages from toddler through to teens, many of which I recognised in my experience on this strange journey called parenting. I kept thinking to myself 'I really wish I'd read this when they were young ' but of course, I didn't, I can't turn back time and now I have to just hope I didn't get it too wrong. There is one section in particular that grabbed my attention which I found helpful.
'1. Correct kids when they're young (birth to elementary)
2. Direct them as they grow (middle school, junior high)
3. Connect with them as they get older (high school and on).'
Valuable food for thought I shall ponder.
I'm not a viewer of soaps but when time allows I do like to binge watch episodes of Holby City on catch up. There was one particular storyline that caught my attention more than the others. One of the permanent characters discovers their estranged daughter is transgender and is now a man. The response of the parent was cold, dismissive and cruel. This set me thinking, if one of my stepchildren or even my nieces, nephews or godchildren announced they were gay, bi etc or had always felt they were trapped in the wrong body and wanted to change to the opposite of which they were born, how would I react? Would I be dismissive, refusing to acknowledge the news? Would I be angry or hurt? Would I be understanding and reassuring? Would I be loving and encouraging? These are questions of which I know the answer to some and can only hope I'd get right for the other. The bottom line though surely is that everyone wants to be loved and accepted for who they are. Jesus said 'whoever is without sin shall cast the first stone'. We all have aspects of ourselves that others find difficult to tolerate, some of those things being sinful or considered to be so, some quirks that are misunderstood or choices that are disagreed with. Tolerance and acceptance is something often not found in society, surely therefore the one place it should always be found is at home, with your family.
We try to be good Christian parents, guiding the boys in the way of the Bible, encouraging their relationships with Jesus. Sometimes this is so difficult when we are very aware that they watch our behaviour and reactions to situations and we are less than the example we hope to be. Often it will be noted that I need to be 'a bit warmer'.
I still have days where something happens, my emotions swing and I'm plagued, in some cases crippled with self doubt, as anyone knows, it's extremely difficult trying to parent teenagers at the best of times. To be honest my biggest mistake is engaging in things that will potentially cause an arguement. Being a support to my husband rather than a parent has always worked before, I just get so annoyed that I forget to stick to it.
On the whole though, it's going ok.
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